#and spend 30 mins in there (just adhd things!!1!1! lol!!!1!!1)
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I am FULLY on my “Spotify Wrapped is not even accurate wtf are you on” train today
#i still am desperate to know what metrics they measure this shit by#makes no damn sense.#does NOT compel me though!!!!!#this is like the 5th year in a row that panic at the fucking disco is listed as my top artist#is it just cuz theyre in the most playlists? cuz i know i didnt listen to that as much as i usually do#also this year was when i started listening to music in the shower and i need upbeat music to keep me moving so i dont accidentally zone out#and spend 30 mins in there (just adhd things!!1!1! lol!!!1!!1)#so a lot of my top songs are just songs i listened to in the shower a lot lol#like fuckin tear in my heart by twenty one pilots or pompeii by bastille#and then my top song: forbidden friendship from the httyd soundtrack#AND LIKE LISTEN OK THATS NOT A BAD SONG IN THE LEAST!!!#BUT ITS ONLY MY TOP SONG CUZ I LISTENED TO IT ON LOOP FOR LIKE 30 MINUTES OF A PLANE RIDE BACK IN APRIL SO I COULD FALL ASLEEP#anyway. join me in my 'fuck spotify wrapped this shit is STUPID' agenda <3#mine#just some thoughts#about me#spotify wrapped
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12/12/21 — behind on my study schedule already! 🤡🤡🤡
I guess I underestimated how busy I get on most weekends... even though I just spent the weekend cooking/eating/watching TV with my grandma. Lol. We watched our fav crazy doctor, House, and a hodgepodge of westerns. Gonna finish up the night by delivering a long-winded, impromptu sermon finishing another module or two, planning next week, and doing my Bible study.
I'll probably sit and reestimate things and actually use all of March for this study sprint, instead of stuffing things in just Dec/Jan/Feb.
I'm excited that I'm actually willing to be flexible about this instead of getting frustrated right off of the bat. Telling myself that I'll be okay with it taking 2x, 3x as long definitely worked in my favor.
In other news, I decided to actually put my priorities in order, and let my time spent/scheduling reflect that— 1. God/Discipleship, 2. Mental/Physical/Environmental Health, 3. Relationships, 4. Career/Study, 5. Hobbies.
God/Discipleship — Aside from working through Matthew with my friends/BSF (which runs until the start of Q2 next year, when a new study is announced/starts), I have a short Bible study on the Lord's Prayer planned for the rest of this year, and next year, I'm reading the whole Bible and working through The Bible Study (which is so pretty, btw!). Me and my friends are also in talks to start a faith-based podcast, so we'll see! I also decided to take it very easy on Sunday in observance of the Sabbath (which is for man, which leads me to my next priority ;-))
Health — Mental, physical, and environmental health. I've restarted therapy, and since it's costing me so much money, I'm really going to try to give it my all and get my money's worth, yano. I'm waiting for some kind of diagnosis (ADHD, Depression, GA... who knows), in which case I'll be glad to have an answer for why I am the way I am. Lol. Physically, I'm going back to meal prepping and eating whole foods on a regular basis, mixed with a little bit of IF, nothing too crazy— except for the Daniel fast that I think I'm going to participate in next January. We'll see. I've never been plant-based for that long. Me and my friend also agreed to do some sort of exercise regimen for 60 days (I negotiated a restful Sunday, which is such a reprieve, lol), and I'm excited to see where that goes! Environmentally, I'm going to make sure that I keep up with housework, because in all honesty, if my house is a wreck, I am too.
Relationships — I'm doing pretty decently in this category lately, but I want to do better! I want to spend time with family and friends way more and make a commitment to take things to the next level with friends that I actually want to do life with, as they say. More transparency and vulnerability, keeping my word, going first and making real efforts to spend time, etc.
Career/Studies — Low on the list, huh? Well, I do want to spend 2-3 hours studying/day, but not at the cost of all the other things! I do want to pivot slightly in my career, but aside from that, I'm doing okay in my job. And I'm not in a rush to make anything happen for the first couple of quarters of the year, so if I can only put in an hour or two, I'm going to be completely satisfied with that!
Hobbies — I'm focusing on gaming, reading, and making music. Reading and music are things that I put off most often! Gaming is hit or miss as far as how satisfying it can be, so I think I'm going to save it for Sundays only. Reading is something that I can chip away on when I have time in the day; 15 minutes here, 20 minutes there, which is great! Music is extremely high effort and high resistance... From learning theory to practicing piano, to re-recording vocals on a short deadline... It's stressful, honestly. I've decided to take a step back from music for at least Q1. No more music collabs. I might go back to doing the bare minimum of playing the piano and working through Alfred's Book 1 for 30 mins/day. I might play around in a DAW or work with a few loops, but I won't be doing any serious production, no collaboration at all, period. Trying to be a vocalist gives me the most stress, so I'll settle for being a beginner instrumentalist most of the time, a novice producer some of the time, and a collaborating vocalist none of the time. Praise be! Lol.
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Tips for Mentally Ill Students
Preface: I know theres a lot of this kind of stuff around, but I thought I would put out my two cents as someone with ADHD, anxiety, and Bipolar II (so a combo of hypomania and depression that cause things I’ll elaborate on in this). This may or may not help with some chronic illnesses, as I have fibromyalgia which is pretty inseparable from my mental health.
This all comes from my experience as a first year college student, who didn’t fully take this advice all the time, but definitely plan to fully incorporate in my first semester and I’ll update you. Most of this advice I did take though, and I made it on the deans list and got a 4.0 on my jury so I think I did well for myself.
1. Do Things Ahead of Time - Executive dysfunction, depression, pain, etc. is a bitch. It will tell you that you can’t, that you shouldn’t, that it’s impossible to do that thing you need to do. And really sometimes it is impossible for you. I know I found it impossible to do my homework sometimes, and thats not good. However, this is where using your good days to full advantage comes in. On my end of this, I often even use my hypomanic days (which are not fun trust me, but thats not what this post is about) to get shit done. When you have a day where you feel like you can do things, USE IT. Do your homework, clean that corner of your room, plan a month ahead (I literally make bujo spreads a month ahead in order to counteract my depression and busy days), email that professor, get it all done. You will love your past self for it.
2. Spend Time Outside of Your Room - (Bear with me this one is long) Ok, I love to sleep, I am constantly tired. Fibromyalgia is horrible, as is depression. However, sleeping all the time is not conducive to studying, doing homework, practicing oboe, showering (trust me you will not wanna get out of bed just to shower and you will go for days without). In college you have a lot of free time, and that free time could be spent in your room, or it could be utilized to 1) spend time with friends 2) study in the library 3) practice an instrument 4) explore the campus/city 5) draw in cafe. I’ve found that being outside of your room improves your mood, and also allows you to be more focused on your work. Personally, I like to find the most underutilized area of the campus at the time, and studying or drawing there. I even once had a TA tell me to go take a walk and destress rather than take a test, and he just had me take the test the next week (he was the best TA). It’s very good to get out of buildings, especially your dorm. (If I’m honest though I did sleep in the lobby of the music building many times which probably wasn’t good, but I’ll admit this tip didn't always work).
3. Honestly Classical Music Doesn’t Always Work - as a music major who plays the oboe, I’ll be honest, classical music is distracting. I find myself constantly analyzing it and/or just getting bored with it lol. So, to fuel my brain’s need for stimulation while I do homework I put on podcasts or youtube video in the background. I know people will tell you that you can’t multitask, but as someone with both ADHD and exhausting hypomania, I need entertainment. If that means classical music for you, go for it, but I’ve talked to a couple of people and they agree with me - it doesn’t always work.
4. Say No - people will ask you to do a lot of things such as going to a concert, party, tutor them and you don't have to do it. If you don’t want to, if you don’t have the energy, if you just don’t like them, don’t do it. I feel like this is the hardest tip because many of us don’t want to be hated, but what other people think of you doesn’t matter as long they don’t effect your future, such as professors obviously. This is incredibly hard to internalize.
5. 100% Effort All The Time Is Not Possible - we talk a lot about giving what you want to receive. Thats not how it works. You can’t always give 100%, and you won’t always receive 100%. The world isn’t equal. You need to decide how much energy you can serve that day, how much energy you think something deserves, and then apply it. You may receive just as much energy as you put in, you may get less in return, or you may get more. It just depends on what you’re doing. Its not fair to yourself if you treat yourself like a battery powered machine. You're more like a cell phone that needs to recharge and has less and less energy to give the more time you go between recharges.
6. Actually Socializing is Good For You And That Can Include Parties - I know I just said say no to parties, but parties can be refreshing. Obviously I you have social anxiety it might not be, but you don’t always have to go to parties you can just hang with a friend at a cafe. However, what I'm trying to get across is that doing something new is much better than constantly doing homework, working, and just generally being by yourself. If I’m truthful, I love parties, I think they really bring me alive as an introverted extrovert, and they save me from myself. By the way, I'm not advocating for underage drinking here. You don’t have to drink at parties, and if anyone pressures you to, leave. but if you're in a safe environment parties, genuinely are a good thing to save you from self impose solitary confinement.
7. Talk to Your Professors/TAs - this one is self explanatory. Your professors are your greatest resource, and you need to tell them when you are having issues. This doesn’t mean you have to tell them your mental illness. Its genuinely not necessary, unless you really want them to understand the issue (such as e telling my piano TAs about my fibromyalgia that hurt my fingers). You can just ask them for an extension on the occasional piece of work, email them on your bad days and tell them you can not make it to class and ask for a make up date for the test. Most professors are very kind especially if you are in a small class/major. Of course it depends on the class. Personally I’d reserve this for your smaller classes, and use your extra effort on those big classes where accommodation is harder for the professor.
8. Related: Use Your School’s Resources - on that note, your school may have counseling/therapy/psychiatry/etc. that you can use. If it’s free, or you have the insurance, please use it, and if you can, use it regularly. In many cases if you have an official diagnosis, you can get disability accommodation for your mental illness and/or disability and/or chronic illness. This means you'll have an official “excuse” for violating the absence policy (please don’t though, that one is tougher to accomodate), for turning in your homework a day late, for needing power-points to be presented rather than verbal lectures (I have this one for just in case moments, normally professors automatically accommodate this though). This means that if professor don’t let you use your accommodations, they can get in trouble.
9. Have Things That Make You Feel Better Easily Available - sometimes it’s incredibly tough to get out of bed, but you need to. On these days, you need something that can make you feel better without just skipping class. On these days I always have sweatpants or leggings available for comfiness, in the fall I grab my emotional support scarf (not a total joke, that scarf comforts me on my panicky days), sometimes I even use my CBD vape pen (yes, yes I know self vape nation lol get it put of your system). Just having things that make you feel good, in your site, and readily available for use is so important and can really make the difference.
10. Not Every Piece of Homework Needs to be Done - exclusively the only reason I did not get a 3.8-4.0 is because I weighed my options and decided it was better for me to not do certain low weighted hw. Rather than use my spoons doing hw that wasn’t going to ultimately help (I knew the material, if you don’t know the material it’s tougher to use this tip), I used my spoons and energy towards doing the laundry or practicing my oboe for an extra 30 mins. It’s important that you weigh what is more important to you personally.
I hope these helped! I’m trying to be realistic as possible, and been as candid as possible so if this helped feel free to message me and talk about it because I’d love to hear your story as I’ve shared a bit of mine here.
Also, go ahead and add on to this with your tips!
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I [32F] just found this subreddit and I am crying via /r/ADHD
I [32F] just found this subreddit and I am crying
I've suspected that I might have ADHD for a while now, but when I started scrolling through the posts on this subreddit I just started bawling; so many of them could have been written by me.
The first psych I saw said I couldn't have ADHD since I had good grades. Turns out I am just really smart and good at memorization, doesn't mean I can pay attention.
Recently, I was treated for anxiety and depression with Prozac. It is working really well for both, but I found that I was still having issues with motivation and focus. I work in a lab but I am working remotely mostly now (more like remotely working since I am getting only a few hours done per week). My boss is starting to notice. My relationship with my boyfriend is suffering too - he gets upset when I forget things, or if I start looking at my phone when he's talking to me (understandably), etc.
Just for illustration purposes, here is what I did today - does it sound like I might have ADHD?:
8am - woke up and made coffee
8:15-9 worked on my paper (yay!)
9am-10 - did virtual yoga
10am - shower
11-12 researching covid vaccine safety (randomly thought about it in shower)
1 - lunch and getting ready
2pm - go to lab
2-3pm lab meeting over zoom - I forgot that i was supposed to present today. Boss seemed pretty disappointed. I didnt pay attention to anyone elses presentations. Instead, I browsed twitter and listened to a stevie nicks gypsy demo instead.
3pm-4:30pm researched why gypsy is considered a racial slur, learned a lot about the plight and oppression of the Romani people, and tried to figure out whether or not bohemian would be considered a racial slur as well (still not sure), listened to songs from the opera la boheme (and read the english translations)
4:30pm - realized i hadnt gotten any work done whilst at work. Worked a little bit on my figure. Then felt stressed about not having worked and want to go home.
5pm - biked home
5:30-6:30 facebook and twitter, went down a jill biden rabbithole (did you know Joe proposed 5 times before she said yes? lol)
6:30-7 went to riteaid and get dinner
7-7:30 ate dinner
7:30-9 learned everything i can online about emily dickinson and her lesbian lovers including reading most of her love letters to her brothers wife
9-10 watched my favorite unknown artists youtube videos trying to find the perfect one to post to reddit to try and get her more fans, decide not to post
10 - wondered what the hell is wrong with me
10-10:50 learned to play gypsy on ukulele
10:50 decided to work! went to put on a song and spend ~10 min just trying to decide what to listen to
11 put on a "brain food" playlist and then googled whether or not adhd people have a hard time keeping to do lists, then googled whether or not adhd people have a hard time watching shows (i can't watch them unless im with other people - oh or the times when I find a show actually interesting enough to watch then I'll binge watch it) and find this subreddit!
11-11:30 write this post, decide that I'll try working again tomorrow!
I have a psychiatry appointment scheduled next week. I'm really hoping he will be willing to try me on something that might help.
One thing I noticed is that I am much better at working when I was a smoker (just quit again) and also when I was on drugs that affected dopamine (Latuda and Abilify - had to quit due to side effects). So I think dopamine is a big factor in what is going on in my brain.
Really glad y'all are here too and that I'm not the only one struggling. Advice welcome.
Submitted January 22, 2021 at 12:39AM by salientalias via reddit https://ift.tt/3p8NrTw
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252.
1. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? i’d pick it up and bring it to a vet. i heard it’s pretty hard to keep a turtle as a pet.
2. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? no.
3. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? yes.
4. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? today was better even though i didn’t do anything.
5. Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? going to a wedding expo and watching the fight.
6. How about you, do you have a bf/gf? yes.
7. Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? haha no.
8. So do you have a best friend? i do.
9. What would you do if your best friend kissed the last person you kissed? they’d be kissing themselves?
10. Do you dislike anyone? yes.
11. Did you message your best friend today? yes.
12. Do you think you will be in a relationship two months from now? yes.
13. Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? pretty much.
14. How do you feel about your hair right now? it’s okay. but it’s oily :(
15. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? nope.
16. Who did you last see shirtless? my boyfriend.
17. How would you feel if you got the person you liked? i already have him.
18. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months without cheating? definitely.
19. Do you like to make the first move? with my boyfriend yeah, why not. we’ve been together forever.
20. Do you think you will ever be married? someday.
21. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? no actually. when i try things actually end up working.
22. Is it possible to be single and happy? yes.
23. Was the first person you talked to today male or female? male.
24. Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? yes.
25. Are you a morning person or a night person? night.
26. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? i probably could.
27. Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? yes.
28. Is there anyone who likes you? yes.
29. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? yes.
30. Do you understand football? not really.
31. What’s the first thing you heard this morning? a dog barking.
32. Who last called you beautiful? my boyfriend.
33. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? no.
34. How many kids do you want when you get older? idk yet. at least two.
35. Are you the type of person who has a new boyrfriend/gilfriend every week? nope.
36. Ever been called a jerk/bitch? yes.
37. Do you have feelings for anyone? yes.
38. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? i’d be shocked and a bit upset. i’m not ready but i’d definitely keep it.
39. What’s your full name? i’d rather not disclose that haha.
40. Are you young or old? mid twenties. it can be young or old depending who you ask.
41. What’s the gender? female.
42. How’s your heart been lately? it’s fine.
43. Why aren’t you in bed? haaaa. i am in bed.
44. Did you do laundry today? nope.
45. What kind of computer do you have? macbook pro.
46. Are there always other fish in the sea? who knows.
47. What can you do with your tongue? whatever you can do with your tongue lol.
48. What do you thnk your mum does when she goes out? works, shops.
49. Do chickens have feelings? i think so.
50. Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? there are many other beautiful things in the world.
51. So how are you feeling today? bored.
52. Where is your sister right now? in her room.
53. Name five things you did today? woke up, did a survey, go shopping, made cob loaf, watched game of thrones.
54. What kind of phone do you have? iphone 7.
55. What are you listening to? game of thrones.
56. What do you smell like? this jean paul gaultier perfume. it’s so strong.
57. What colour are your eyes? brown.
58. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill? i have no idea what that is haha.
59. Do you know someone named Betsy? no.
60. What colour is your mum’s hair? black.
61. Do you have a dog? Breed? Name? yes. maltese & fox terrier mix. sky.
62. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? heaps of michael jackson songs.
63. Are you married? nope.
64. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? 30 mins ago.
65. Do you play an instrument? not well.
66. Do you like fire? i guess.
67. Are you allergic to anything? pollen.
68. Have you ever been to a spa? yes.
69. Do you miss someone? nope.
70. Views on premarital sex? to each their own. as long as both parties consent.
71. What is a noise that you cannot stand? any screeching noises similar to nails on a blackboard. and screaming kids. like, those throwing a tantrum.
72. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? nooooo.
73. What is the most you are willing to spend on a pair of sunglasses? $50 lol. unless they have my prescription lenses in it.
74. Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? ummm yes.
75. Do you shower naked? haha, who doesn’t?
76. Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? to an extent lol.
77. Are you ADD or ADHD? nope.
78. Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? no.
79. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? yes.
80. In one word, how would you define yourself? lazy.
81. Tell me about a dream you had recently? i dreamed my friends got caught by the cops with their weed haha.
82. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? idk lol. i tend to get annoyed at drunk people.
83. How did you feel when you woke up? tired.
84. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? do i have a day off today? yes, i do!
85. Name something great that happened on Friday? it’s friday today. nothing.
86. When was the last time you saw your father? a week ago.
87. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? sure.
88. Have you ever been kissed by a person whose name starts with J? nope.
89. Do you crack your knuckles? sometimes.
90. What were you doing twenty minutes ago? this.
91. You’re thinking about someone, aren’t you? no.
92. Have you held hands with anyone in the past twenty-four hours? nope.
93. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? i’d think it’s weird.
94. What if your partner went through your cellphone? i’d ask him what he’s doing lol. i have nothing to hide though.
95. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? oh hell no.
96. Ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? yes.
97. You want someone/something? no.
98. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? yeah there is lol.
99. Is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? boredom.
100. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? nope.
101. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? haha yes.
102. Background on your computer? cityscapes.
103. Have you cried recently? nope.
104. Who has hurt you the most? no one.
105. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? i guess. i just wish we were moving forward a little quicker.
106. What language do you want to learn? ugh nothing unless i’m required to learn it for a job or something.
107. Your ex’s car breaks down and they ask you for a lift. Your response? no.
108. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? the only way that would happen is if they hit me first.
109. How many credit cards do you own? two.
110. Would you rather be rich or famous? rich. who wants to be poor and famous?
111. Are you hurting anywhere? no.
112. Are you depressed? no.
113. Reason behind the last time you cried? i was frustrated.
114. Reason behind the last time you laughed really hard? idk lol.
115. Do you believe that you can change someone? only for the better. and only if i was okay with it.
116. What are your plans for your next birthday? idk yet :(
117. Do you ignore people when you’re mad/upset with them? yeah.
118. Is there someone you’d like to fix things with? nah.
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